Domestic Violence: When is Enough finally ENOUGH?

My first endeavor in discovering what the world of public relations has to offer is to research the nonprofit organization we will be working for: Safe Harbor. More importantly, I have researched information on domestic abuse in order to better understand the positions that our clients are in, since one of the number one rules of any public relations job is to understand the client and their goals.

It comes as a surprise to me that while I am sitting here safe at home feeling very comfortable in all my relationships, there are women no more than a few miles away who are abused almost daily by someone they are very close to, normally a boyfriend or husband. About 1.3 million women are abused every year. According to ncadv.org, the majority of these cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police. When abuse gets even worse, the results can be fatal. This same website states that almost a third of female homicide victims are killed by someone they were in a relationship with. When it comes to sexual assaults, 1 in 6 women have experienced rape or an attempted rape. 

Unfortunately, as this behavior progresses in families, it becomes the number one reason why violence is transferred to children who witness such family catastrophes. In fact, when boys see such behavior in their families, they are twice as likely to transfer this same behavior to their own wives and children when they are adults. So, when it harms not only themselves, but also their children, what makes women stay in such abusive relationships?

As a woman myself (and a very strong-willed one at that), I had a hard time grasping how women put up with such abuse from their husbands or other male figures, especially when staying causes harm to their children as well. In my mind, if I were in their shoes I would want to run screaming out the door at the first sign of trouble and never look back. But, of course, once actually put in such a situation it is hard to tell what one would actually do. Any woman can find herself in a situation where she sees no way out, and when stuck in such a relationship, results can be both emotionally and physically damaging to everyone involved. For this reason, I decided to research (on mentalhealth.net) what, exactly, makes women stay in such devastating situations for so long? And, what is it that finally allows women to free themselves from the grasps of abuse?

Why do they stay?
1. They are often economically dependent on the abuser

2. They may feel that leaving is wrong (Example: many Catholics believe Divorce is wrong)

3. There is often a cycle of abuse (times when they are abused, and then times when they are  

     loved) which causes victims to believe it is not as bad as it actually is. aka: they rationalize 

     the relationship

4. Sometimes, leaving can cause abuse to escalate to extreme levels (this is why Safe Harbor

    works so hard to maintain confidential locations for victims)

5. Many victims have low self-esteem and an attitude that they are fine with "good enough." 

    This may often be the case because they themselves were raised in an abusive family unit

What is the final straw?

1. They realize their safety and their children's well-being depends on them leaving

2. Abuse begins to worsen or become more frequent to a point they can no longer take

3. A friend or family member supports them in their decision to leave/ they are able to find 

                   another form of support

And let's not forget that, while 85% of abuse victims are female, abuse victims can be male. Just take the Teen Mom (MTV television star) Amber Portwood, who abused her boyfriend and faced charges of losing custody of her child. Here's the link to a news story on her abuse, in case anyone needs a refresh:

Amber Abuses Gary

The issue is serious and it needs to be addressed. I cannot wait to get started with our clients from Safe Harbor and work to end such abuse.

After researching the Safe Harbor website and looking at the goals of the organization, the two questions I would like to ask are:

What is a new program you would like to implement in your program for this next year?

What has been a main problem within your organization that you would like to fix, if you could?